


Built To Fail

by DimMemories



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Beta Kindergarten, Gen, Human/gem conflict, Pink Diamond Theory, Spoilers for Episode: s05e18 A Single Pale Rose, Spoilers for Now We're Only Falling Apart, pre-rebellion, rebellion era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-15 08:23:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14786915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DimMemories/pseuds/DimMemories
Summary: The Beta Kindergarten, a haphazard project established on substandard terrain, is on the verge of beating the odds and producing one of the most perfect Jaspers ever seen. This should be the crowning achievement of Pink Diamond's struggling Earth colony, but one question gnaws at the littlest Diamond:How did everything go so horribly right?(Minor revisions to stay compliant(ish) with "Now We're Only Falling Apart")





	1. The Big Reveal

In the early days, there was nothing as beautiful to Pink Diamond as a hole in the ground.

When her fellow Diamonds allotted Pink her portion of the Homeworld Kindergarten, she was like a child with a new toy. She visited her incubating Gems every day, peppered the Kindergarteners with questions, and was as amazed of the new arrivals when they popped out as they were of her. Every Gem from Pink's original Kindergarten got a generous measure of their Diamond's hands-on personal attention, and the love she had for them was always returned in kind.

When she turned inward during the Rebellion, the later arrivals to her court would marvel at the stories those first Gems told, and even thousands of years after her shattering, it was the absence of that love that filled her first batch with an inconsolable ache.

It was only after the Diamonds gifted her with a backwater colony, located on one of the spiral arms of what human scientists would later name the Milky Way Galaxy, that things began to go awry. By the time Pink emerged, Homeworld's Kindergarten system was well on its way to its ultimate fate as a desiccated, tapped-out husk, which meant that she wasn't forced to see how a fresh one was made. Prime would be the first step in her real education.

The day she first assumed her Rose Quartz disguise and began exploring the land surrounding Prime, Pink was speechless. The countryside was so green, with such a wide variety of organic life. She scheduled what she euphemistically referred to as "Diamond time" so she could get a proper feel for her new surroundings.

In her Rose form, Pink learned that if she sat perfectly still for a long enough time, cross-legged on the grass, the local fauna would come right up to her, sniffing the air around her with a captivating curiosity. Sometimes all it would take to send them scattering was a simple popping of her mouth. Others were braver than that.

One day a quadruped approached her, an animal that vaguely matched the description her scouts had assigned to the wolf species, except the behavior didn't match any wild beast she'd become familiar with. The creature cocked its head to one side and laid itself down in front of her, staring at Pink with pleading eyes. Cautiously she held out her hand, letting the creature nuzzle it. As if that was a predetermined sign, it raised its head and licked her fingers. She felt an unusual lightness in her being as she began idly stroking the animal's fur, as if this was the moment that the planet accepted her.

The reverie was interrupted by a sharp whistle, a sound which made the animal prick up its ears. A biped, clothed in a body covering of animal hide and with fur only visible on the top of her head, approached Pink from the creek at the bottom of the valley, a small, tapered stone blade in her hand. She stopped suddenly, momentarily shocked by the size of the pink-haired woman in front of her, then slowly placed her weapon on the ground and raised her hand as a sign of non-aggression.

Pink beckoned her over. Her first in-person human bore a superficial resemblance to certain types of Gems, but there was an unkempt, unregulated element to her manner that Pink found unusually appealing.

"Our Bo isn't usually like this around strangers," the human said, scratching the beast behind its ears. "You must be special."

A new range of opportunities opened up to Pink Diamond that day, and it was her intention to take advantage of all of them. She had fallen for her colony and fallen hard. When she wasn't able to be physically present Earthside, she'd spend seemingly forever in the Moonbase's Observation Orb room exploring that one little patch of grass and trees by remote control, focusing on the comings and goings of the organics, memorizing every landmark.

Then the Lapises from the terraforming detail flooded the valley for an expansion and put an end to that.

* * *

"Granted, we had to use an unorthodox layout to utilize the natural resources of the area, but the results will be able to speak for themselves in short order. Literally."

The Peridot guiding the tour through the Beta Kindergarten project was practically skipping as she guided her visitors through the incubation site. She had led multiple dignitaries through the points of interest during the first production period, but it wasn't every day that a lowly technician led a tour group of _three_ Diamonds and their retinues. It was the thrill of a lifetime.

Pink Diamond led the group, trying (and occasionally failing) to stay on unequal footing with her Peridot, as protocol demanded. Blue and Yellow Diamond followed Pink out of deference to the ruler of the colony, the three followed several steps behind by their Pearls.

Yellow Diamond ran a finger along the cliff wall, scowling at the excessive iron oxide residue picked up by her glove. She dropped the sodden hand to her side. "Pearl, take care of this."

"Yes, My Diamond." Yellow Diamond's Pearl produced a pre-moistened cloth from her gem and placed it in her Diamond's palm. The Diamond cleaned her hand and tossed the cloth over her shoulder, her Pearl catching the waste before it hit the ground with an elegant, well-practiced twirl that her Diamond pointedly ignored. A little bit put out by the lack of attention, she prepared to tuck the dirty laundry back into her gem.

"Show off," Pink's Pearl silently mouthed to her. In response, Yellow Pearl figured out a way to thwack the multi-colored Pearl with the towel as the dirty laundry vanished into her gem. Blue Pearl smiled quietly to herself, as always.

Yellow Diamond checked her fingers for further contamination. "It is a little rude. I trust that the yield won't be affected."

"Correct as always, Your Radiance," the Peridot answered brightly. "The experimental process did create some irregulars, but at full capacity, we estimate a production level comparable to Prime."

"How many 'irregulars' are we talking about?"

It was the first time Pink had spoken since the party had departed the Palanquin encampment. The ruling Diamond of the Earth colony had spent the tour looking at the lopsided exit holes with oddly bright eyes, an expression which flew by everyone but her own Pearl. But when the littlest Diamond broached the subject of a Gem not coming out as expected, the implications were painfully obvious.

Her Peridot measured the words in her answer as if she could already count her own shards falling to the ground, but she was bound by her obligation to the truth. "Well, My Diamond...it's too early to map a trend, but, um...the irregular rate is expected to be a minimum of 10% above standard." She swallowed hard as her hands shakily formed the Diamond salute. "You have my solemn promise that we're doing what we can to change that number."

Pink winced at the technician's earnestness. "No apologies are necessary. Your team has done very well under trying circumstances."

"Thank you, My Diamond." The Peridot smiled through watery eyes. Pink furtively shot a concerned look to her Pearl, who seemed embarrassed for the green gem. _Is this Peridot crying?_ she asked herself. _Why is she crying over a mild compliment?_

Only after considering the technician's emotional state did Pink notice that she'd unconsciously placed her hand on the Peridot's shoulder in reassurance. _Oh, of course,_ she realized.  _She's freaking out because a Diamond usually doesn't touch anyone except with the back of her glove._ Withdrawing the physical attention, she didn't have to turn around to know that Yellow Diamond was shaking her head in disapproval. "Please continue."

The technician collected herself in short order. "Anyway, Prime managed to tap into an unusually rich vein of coal to draw from for potential energy, to supplement the soil's usual mineral resources. That wasn't among our available solutions here. Even as a stopgap, this location presented us with a unique set of challenges. But Our Diamond, in her wisdom, gave us the developmental latitude to just... _go_ for it!" She stiffly pumped her arm, a gesture which failed to get a reaction. "We fundamentally rethought the injector internals to compensate for the suboptimal conditions. The outside casing was retained to maintain backward compatibility with the current mounting hardware." She giddily smiled at Pink, twitchily clutching at the collar of her appearance modifier. "We were thinking of naming the new model after _you_ , My Diamond."

"Well," Yellow addressed Pink with a smirking side eye. "It would appear that congratulations are in order." Her tone was always so arch that Pink could rarely tell whether she was being sincere or mocking. Yellow's anger was the only emotion that consistently registered correctly.

Encouraged by the reception of the team's gesture, and unburdened by the subtext of interpersonal Diamond dynamics, the Peridot went on to note several other points of interest about the new injectors until Blue Diamond leveled a curious stare at the technician. "As fascinating as the details must be, we assumed you called us down for more than a recitation of procedure, Peridot"

"Yes, let's move on to the main attraction, please," Yellow Diamond added.

The Peridot nervously straightened herself. "Oh yes, of course. Jasper is waiting. The Pyrites will be expecting us."

When they rounded the corner, they found a small team of gold-tinged Gems navigating the scaffolding mounted against a cliff wall, taking measurements, plotting points and chalking a formidable outline on the surface. The hole they were mapping was a jarring contrast to the drop-it-wherever-it-works aesthetic of the rest of the site. Whoever was emerging was centered, upright and at least twice as big as the Gems assigned to report her progress.

"Oh! My Diamond...s!" The Pyrite with the tablet jumped when she realized the audience had arrived. "You're ahead of schedule!"

Blue Diamond all but gaped at the presentation before her, as did the others. "Is that representation of the exit hole correct?"

"Yes, Your Lusterousness! Our seismic readings are accurate to within half a cubit." Directing her attention to Pink, she added, "My apologies if we weren't forthright with the full extent of the news, My Diamond, but we know how much interest you've had in this project. We wanted the best part to be a surprise."

Pink bit her lip, trying to stifle a less-than-regal urge in mixed company. "And she's coming out _flexing_?"

The Pyrite clapped her hands together, grinning broadly and dropping her notes in the process. "Yes! Isn't it amazing?"

It was all Pink could do to hold her composure. "It _is_ quite the first impression, isn't it?" she answered shakily.

Collecting her input device, the Pyrite puffed her chest out with pride. "Absolutely! And what we've learned about optimizing for Earth conditions from this one case study will maximize the output of all the Kindergartens to follow! Once we fold the new data into the planning equations, the next fifteen locations on the board should be absolutely _legendary_!"

Fif... _teen_?

Pink knew that was a number the Pyrite pulled off the top of her head; the estimated number of Earth Kindergartens would be significantly larger than that. But the thought of fifteen more organic dead zones like this, let alone the numerous other pins that loomed ominously on her Moon Base map, snapped the junior Diamond back to reality in a way that she struggled to hide from everyone present. After all, the Beta plan was supposed to be an abject failure, a data point that could be manipulated to make the case for abandoning the Earth once and for all. Instead, an outlier result had emboldened her Gems, driving them harder, pushing them forward, making them cleverer.

How did everything go so horribly right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that season break was quite the cliff they chose to hang us off of, wasn't it? More to come...
> 
>  
> 
> _(This is version 2.0, where I patched the first four chapters with small narration changes meant to keep the story so far within shouting distance of the new info from "Now We're Only Falling Apart". Hopefully, the stitches aren't too obvious.)_


	2. Prime Misgivings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long before Beta, a human intrusion at Prime threatens to spiral out of control.

Hundreds of years after the development of Prime began, hundreds of years before Beta became a necessity, there was a hunting party.

There were two practical things the hunters of the area clan knew about Prime: don't try to beat the Rock People in open warfare and stay away from the Dead Place. Many of the reasons were from secondhand knowledge, but their ancestors paid a heavy price to learn both of those lessons, and the specifics had taken key positions in the tribal folklore.

A couple of the younger deer hunters had stalked a healthy-sized buck through the better part of the morning. When their bows finished the job, it fell over several yards inside of the Dead Place, but that presented a problem because although it was well inside the forbidden zone, going home empty-handed was not an option. The past few months had been too sparse not to try.

They stayed in their positions for a few minutes, flat on their stomachs behind a meager rock barrier. Finally, the younger man said, "Woya's going to kill me if we come back without even a couple of squirrels."

The older hunter chuckled. "She's not the only one you have to worry about. We're _all_  in trouble if we don't bring back something to eat tonight, so one of us needs to be in trouble over there."

His companion's lack of motion told the young man that he'd been volunteered. "You're lucky I needed to stretch my legs."

Walking in a crouch, he gingerly put his foot over the line. The only things visible on the terrain were a few seemingly random stone formations and some bleached animal bones. The sounds of alien industry echoed in the distance, which told him whatever did this to the long-gone pastureland was currently doing it further to the south. It gave the young man enough confidence to straighten his posture as he continued on.

He had barely reached the prey when he heard a noise over his head. A Red Onyx had been watching him from above, the white stripes on her arms almost glowing against her base color in the midday sun. She rose to her feet after they spotted each other, menacingly watching the human on the ground with impossibly wide eyes. Her expression never changed as she tilted her head to one side and pulled a spear from the gem on her neck.

He had seen Rock People before, but he had never seen one summon a weapon, and it was so mesmerizing that it took a few nearly fatal seconds to recognize she was targeting him. As her hand found the spear's balance point, he began a mad scramble to a less exposed place, but he didn't get far. Red Onyx was one of the most accurate shots from her facet and her throwing velocity was impossibly fast.

She was under her Diamond's orders to issue a warning strike before engaging, but unfortunately for the hunter, the interpretation of a "warning strike" was wide open depending on her mood. The head of her weapon opened a significant gash in the runner's calf, downing him with a scream of pain two steps from the finish line.

The young man had trouble moving on his own, but his comrade pulled him the rest of the way, and then further along to escape. "We're coming back for you," the rescuer shouted at the Gem guard as the duo stumbled into the cover of the forest.

Red Onyx allowed her weapon to dissipate. Down on the ground, the deer had long ago stopped moving. Blood stained the used-up soil a shade of dark rust.

"What a mess," she said to no one in particular. She reached for her belt and pressed the alarm button.

 

Pink Diamond's Pearl (or, as the incumbent Pearl of Pink Diamond court, just plain Pearl) was ensconced at a makeshift communications center in the observation room of her Diamond's Moon Base, manning a relatively simple piece of desk-mounted gear with two-way voice capabilities. The regular console in the control room had a more comprehensive feature set, but that location was occupied by a three-diamond do-not-disturb meeting. Someone was expected to direct traffic, and so that task fell to the base's home-court Pearl.

And yet over time, Pink felt a little guilty leaving Pearls in a stand-by pose during long, sometimes contentious meetings, many of which she was responsible for dragging out. To make amends, she developed the habit of requesting busy work for the other Pearls during these Diamond meetings, making her requests open-ended enough that it allowed the Pearls some occasional unstructured time together.

Yellow Pearl stood vigil on the staircase in case one of their Diamonds bellowed, while Blue Pearl busied herself with the surveillance orb. She was scanning the various Earth facets to fill the room with something that would make Pearl break her professional facade while she was on the line with someone. A unique collection of wildlife in Facet 1 came the closest, the giraffes extracting an audible snort in the middle of an otherwise flawless deflection to a lower department. When she finished the call, Pearl giggled into her hand. "Turn around, Yellow. This one's more for you than me."

Yellow's eyes popped when she saw what now filled the room, a self-preservation instinct propelling her down the stairs like a shot. She lunged for the control orb with flailing limbs while Blue Pearl firmly held it in place with a quiet smile.

"Make that thing go away before My Diamond sees it! She still grouses about meeting one of those things in person!"

Yellow's meaningful glare at Pearl only made her laugh harder, remembering one of her Diamond's least successful pro-Earth propaganda maneuvers. "Does she still think the planet did it to her on purpose?"

"The court scientists talked her out of the idea...at least to the point that she stopped bringing it up it every single day." She was trying to be blase about it, but the way she flushed at the recollection told a different story.

A lull in the action allowed a snatch of loud conversation to drift down from the upper level, in tone if not the actual words. "Ridiculous" was the word that came through the clearest, likely because they already expected it.

Pearl gestured towards the opening at the top of the stairs. "So they're still going at it in the main room?"

Finally gaining control of the orb, Yellow spun it randomly, landing on a pack of wolves that pleased her greatly. "Oh, of course! Infrastructure day is a very important day!" A mocking posture of shock resolved into her standard smirk.

The communicator rang, and Pearl tapped the earpiece to patch the caller through. On duty and in mixed company, she affected an even, businesslike tone, the kind of voice that could (and often did) read the colony's weather forecasts over the early alert channels. "This is the Pink Diamond control room. Please state your authorization level and the nature of your business."

A cloud crossed her face upon hearing the Gem on the other end deliver a lengthy and extremely alarming answer, during which Pearl rose from the desk and began crossing to the center of the room. "I see. Please hold while we pull up your location." She muted her earpiece and motioned to the other two Pearls to stay close. "Looks like we're going to need this for a moment. Yellow, can you give us Prime?"

Yellow Pearl carefully positioned the orb focus, the view defaulting to Prime's currently active production area. The only thing out of the ordinary was an unusual amount of distracted workers directing their attention to something the observers couldn't hear.

"Okay, she said it was on the northern perimeter."

Yellow looked up from her adjustments in mild disbelief. "But that doesn't make sense! Haven't the northern cuts been tapped out for generations?"

Pearl sighed unsteadily. "Right, but it's not a production disruption we're looking for."

Yellow pulled up the fine-grained adjustment panel to set and center the requested view. When the picture stabilized, the trio was taken aback by what they saw. A cordon of quartz soldiers, arms linked as a living barrier, lined the area of concern, the dead animal well behind them. The hunting party the caller described was supplemented by a dozen other humans, all of them armed and visibly angry.

Quickly collecting herself, Yellow crossed her arms. "Oh, right. Because I forgot we're talking about the Earth."

Pearl swallowed hard and unmuted the microphone. "Yes, she'll want to know about this immediately."

 

When the Diamonds convened in the observation room, the hard part began. To Pink, the maddening thing was that defusing this should be the simplest procedure in the world. All the humans wanted was a piece of meat to keep themselves alive, and resolving the problem shouldn't be more complicated than dragging the carcass over to them. But as she kept discovering, the Great Diamond Authority always finds a way.

In the current company, a plain statement of her real intentions was out of the question. Instead, with Pearl's support, Pink attempted to sell them on why this situation needed more diplomacy than a brute-force operation. The idle equipment was too close to risk an open conflict. Not only were production goals at stake, but their actions could feed an open uprising. Yes, yes and yes. So far so good.

"And so,' she concluded, "the guards need to stand down until I can supervise the operation personally."

Yellow Diamond, who surprised Pink by agreeing with her line of reasoning up until that point, hardened when Pink injected herself into the solution. "No," she said flatly. "Even if your pets are making a mess, you still have business to finish _here_."

 _This would be so much easier without an audience_ , Pink told herself.

Blue Diamond sat on the floor so she could face Pink at her level. "We know you have an unusual interest in human affairs, and that's something we'll deal with in time, but we're not the  _only_ ones who have noticed. The human issue is the one area where you resist trusting others, and that's how rumors get started. _Delegate_ , Pink. Think about priorities for a moment."

Until Blue said the P word, Pink felt an echo from a simpler time in her voice, but too much had changed. She  _was_ thinking about priorities, just not _their_ priorities. But since they'd brought up trust issues--the less said about her infamous begging session, the better--she decided to err on the side of discretion. "Pearl, is Red Beryl available?"

At the orb, Pearl placed a personnel overlay filtered for the diplomatic corps and then checked the map that resulted. "On-duty within warp range, My Diamond."

"Good, let's go with her, then. Tell security to act only in self-defense while we get Red Beryl to the location." She took a deep breath. "And Pearl? I'd like you to accompany her on my behalf. If I can't be there in person, there are a few points she needs to be briefed on."

The other Diamonds were about to ask if Pearl's assistance was necessary until the orb projected the scene from Red Beryl's current location at one of the floating gardens. Her pacing appeared to be a walking meditation at first, but when she bowed to the air multiple times it became obvious that they'd caught her practicing groveling.

Eventually, she tested a few courtly laughs--into the hand, into the sleeve, hand on the chest--until one particularly strenuous guffaw knocked her off balance. Sprawled face-down, the disarray of her melodramatically puffed sleeves and towering hair hid her expression entirely, but her rhythmically kicking leg told the rest of the tale.

Blue Diamond hid her eyes in embarrassment while Yellow Diamond leaned in with a snicker. "Wonderful. You're sending the sensible one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Version 2.


	3. Interlude In Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pink Diamond dispatches her Pearl to the Earth mission at Prime and receives inspiration from an unexpected source.

A small transport ship was standing by on the lowest level of the Moon Base exit. Due to security concerns, warp service was disabled at the Diamond Base when the three Diamonds were in conference, so Pink's guests were required to hitch a ride if they were called away. Once the ship deposited Pearl, the pilot was under instruction to report back to the base. Pink escorted Pearl, walking side-by-side when there was no doubt they were unobserved.

Standing in the middle of the lobby, the mural of the four Diamond matriarchs and their colonies surrounded them. At the unveiling, Pink noticed that the other three were elegant paragons of poise and control, while she was reaching, bounding out of the rocks--those are rocks, aren't they?--for that one clump of dirt. She seemed out of place. "Nonsense," Yellow explained. "You're reaching for greatness. It's aspirational."

"Is that why I have your hair?"

"The artist has a... _thing_ for sharp angles." It was one of the few times she made Yellow blush, which made it a cherished memory.

As Pink matured, both as a leader and a sentient being, she learned to appreciate what they'd done. The portrait was dynamic where the other three were staid, which _was_ something to aspire to once she reflected on it. But she could never pretend that was her.

At the docking door, Pink knelt to give Pearl her instructions. "Red Beryl is a capable negotiator, but she's never worked with human communities before. She needs to be briefed on my goals in no uncertain terms because she does interesting things with ambiguity. She knows the protocol, but you're the only one who knows my ideals. Do you understand?"

Pearl responded with a tight nod. "Yes, My Diamond."

Pink closed her hands around Pearl's, pressing a Diamond communicator into her servant's palms. "If things get out of control, call me immediately. And one more thing..."

Her voice quivered as she struggled to take control of her emotions, then she gave in and pulled Pearl closer. "Come back to me in one piece. I won't last a day without you."

As they embraced, Pearl's response was between a laugh and a sob. "That's not true, and you know it."

"Fine, _don't_ let me be soft." Pink squeezed a little tighter before letting her go.

Pearl walked through the docking door with a backward glance and a shy wave. As it closed, she caught sight of something that made her mouth drop open, but the door slammed shut before she could call out a warning. Confused, Pink turned around and scanned the area. At first, she thought she was alone, but under the stairs she found Blue Pearl trying to blend into the shadows. Pink would've laughed if Blue wasn't shaking like she was about to cry. That wouldn't do at all.

"Blue? It's okay. You can come out." Timidly, Blue Pearl emerged from her hiding place. Pink was waiting for her, seated on the floor with her hands on her knees.

Blue responded with a deep curtsy. "My apologies, Your Charity."

"No, it's fine. You're not in trouble, but...would you sit with me for a moment?" She patted a spot on the floor as an invitation. "I'm just not ready to go back up just yet."

"Is that an order?"

"Let's call it a non-binding request."

Blue lowered to the floor, coming to rest in the formal Pearl style, smoothing her skirt as she settled on her heels. For a few moments, she stared straight ahead, waiting for further instructions, but when Pink remained silent, she cast a curious glance at the youngest Diamond. Pink was always a unique leader, but Blue hadn't seen her in a state as unsettled as this one. Still, a request was a request, so she waited patiently as the supreme ruler of the Earth colony fidgeted, twitched, and compulsively glanced at the door again and again.

Oh. The door. The one _she_ just left through.

"This is the first time you sent her away on her own, isn't it?"

Pink took a deep breath and hung her head. "Yes. Pearl is so impossibly capable, but I'm afraid for her. It doesn't help that I said all the things I did to prove myself to the other Diamonds. And I just roped her into it without giving her a choice in the matter."

Pink talking about Pearls and choices gave Blue's mind an itch that demanded to be scratched. "Diamonds make decisions for Pearls every day. Why should now be any different?"

Pink clutched her temples as if the thought of predetermined roles caused her physical pain. "Because she's my best friend, Blue! Because she pushes back against me in ways that make me better than I would've been if I never knew her. But I'm expected to do that to her? And it's a requirement?" She lowered her head. "I don't know. Sometimes being a Diamond feels like a trap."

Pink's hand hovered over her mouth, the realization hanging in the air that she'd said too much. If she'd kept talking, would she have told her everything?

Blue reached out to Pink, and her touch startled the Diamond. "Your Pearl will be fine. We all have gifts that we're never encouraged to discover. She'll surprise us all one day, and maybe today will be the day that begins. It's the rest of them on the ground that you should worry about."

"Are you saying that just to make me feel better?"

"No, Your Charity. I'm saying it because she'll shave my head bald if I don't." She cringed for effect.

"You'd be the first one she tried that on, but I wouldn't put it past her." Pink giggled at the thought of a bald Pearl, and of her Pearl being the responsible party. Not every Gem could pull off the look.

Pleased by the reaction, Blue relaxed. "You have a unique relationship with your Pearl. It's nice to see."

"Is it that different with Blue Diamond?"

They turned to the Blue Diamond on the wall, a meditative depiction that searched for its subject's core without being a concrete representation. She was staring intently at the planet floating over her hand as if she could discover its secrets before the inevitable restructuring began. "My Diamond is demanding, but fair...in her way. Not all Pearls are as lucky as I am, or as yours is." She turned back to Pink, a note of concern in her voice. "But may I speak in confidence?"

"Yes, of course. You're keeping my secret now. I owe you that much."

"There are days when I have my doubts. I've been with my Diamond longer than most members of the Blue court have. We've shared many of her greatest moments, and mourned her setbacks. But if something was to happen to me? I'm replaceable."

Pink considered the Pearl's words apprehensively. "That's hard to believe."

Blue looked at the Diamond wistfully, then shook her head. So she didn't know that Blue wasn't her Diamond's first Pearl. Would it be a step too far to tell her? She decided the best way to approach the issue was from an angle. "If I was shattered or lost, there's no room for pretense. Pearls know our place in the order, and a Diamond _must_ have a Pearl. My substitute would arrive before the end of the quarter."

Pink stiffened. "Well, that's ridiculous. I wouldn't allow it."

Blue allowed herself a small smile. "I don't think you would, either."

Pink waved a hand at Blue Diamond's portrait and leaned in with a rapidly gathering conspiratorial attitude. "No, seriously, we're going to make sure that she _never_ forgets you. Because after you, her next Pearl is going to be two Rubies, and I won't settle for anything less."

"What? A two Ruby fusion?" The Pearl began laughing at the idea.

"Just for the sake of argument, let's use a shorter Ruby riding on the shoulders of a bigger one."

"And the Ruby on top never gets down?" Her gem projected a hologram of how the combination might look. Even in simulation, the double stack tottered unsteadily, and apparently, neither one could decide who was in charge.

"Never." Pink's voice carried a note of defiance.

"Then the top one should be the dancer." The top holo-Ruby began high kicks on the other's shoulders until the bottom one grabbed her ankle without warning. They fell apart spectacularly.

"Oh, that is so bad. I approve."

Blue waved the holo-Rubies away as her smile faded. "You've always been kind to us, Your Charity, but Pearls are all too aware that our place in the Gempire is tenuous. We can be replaced for any reason, or for no reason at all. Sometimes we're reassigned. Sometimes we just go away. So we try to be careful, for self-preservation's sake."

Pink thought back to the first time she saw a Gem shattered, a rare ritual execution. It was another element of her education, something she was led to believe was essential to maintaining the Authority. But something went wrong with the process, and they were forced to try again and again. By the time everyone in attendance was sure it was over, there weren't enough pieces large enough to harvest. Now she looked at Blue, a Gem she'd known almost as long as the Diamonds. If the gem on her chest was ground to dust in a fit of pique, or even on a whim, could she face the Diamond who did it again? Would she ever be able to face herself?

She wouldn't even humor the idea of being that cavalier about her own Pearl. Not after all they'd experienced together. But would Pearl be that sure?

"That's a lot of pressure to carry around. How do you do it?"

Blue Pearl considered the question for a moment. "I give my Diamond what she expects of me. The piece of me that duty requires. But I never forget to save part of me for myself."

With only a small hesitation, Blue swept her long bangs back. Pink had never seen Blue Pearl's eyes before, and without that piece of the puzzle, a visitor to her Diamond's court might miss her completely. She blended in with the decor, like a desk or a wall decoration. But with her full face exposed, a vitality emerged from thin air. Her gaze sparkled with an eager, searching mischief, and that smile wasn't so mysterious after all.

Pink was stunned into silence at being allowed to witness this remarkably simple illusion. Peeling it back was like meeting Blue for the first time.

Satisfied that she'd proven her point, Blue shook her head until her hair fell back into place, as she took a moment to smooth it back into an unpierceable veil.

Pink had so many questions, but one forced its way to the top. "Are you ever tempted to let that part of you be the part that you wear on the outside?"

"It's a marvelous thought, Your Charity. But we still have work to do."

"Yes. I guess we do."

Rising to her feet, Blue answered Pink's earnestness with a quiet chuckle. "Oh, no! I meant that the Diamonds are probably waiting for you upstairs and I need to get back to Yellow Pearl and the communications center."

Pink arched an eyebrow. "And that's _all_ you meant?"

"Well, words can mean more than one thing." She stopped at the foot of the stairs. "Oh, my apologies. I haven't been dismissed yet. With your permission?"

"Hmm? Oh yes, that will be all. And thank you, Blue."

Once Blue Pearl climbed out of sight, Pink finally rose from the floor, fixing her focus on her section of the mural one last time. The Diamond on the wall, the official version for public consumption, never felt less like her than it did at that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Version 2_


	4. The Sensible One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl accompanies Pink Diamond's esteemed negotiator Red Beryl to the human-Gem standoff at Prime. Things take a turn from there.

Red Beryl. A Gem who built a reputation in the Pink Court as a mediator and problem solver. Interdepartmental dispute bringing your production quotas down? Call Red Beryl. An intramural squabble between the Diamond courts? Red Beryl's holding for you, My Diamond. Regardless of what one thought of her sometimes florid style, Red had an impressive success rate at conflict resolution among Gems.

A few key factors figured into her impressive success rate among Gems. The main one involved the nature of her job description under the Gempire. In most human civilizations, mediators shepherded conflict resolution in a manner designed to reach a mutually beneficial compromise. To that effect, they created codes of conduct to facilitate fair and impartial treatment of all parties.

Red wasn't compelled to bother with those hangups or restrictions since the Diamonds' primary mandate was "Get this nonsense over as quickly as possible." Arm twisting wasn't out of the question if social engineering didn't work. Her skills didn't echo through history on the level of King Solomon, but she wasn't afraid to threaten to chop a metaphorical baby in half.

Her most lauded conflict resolutions, upon closer examination, came from the reluctance of one party to effectively state her case. Caste system intimidation frequently figured into that, but pushing against an immovable wall gets exhausting, and the hardliners usually had the upper hand in the war of attrition. Red Beryl built her reputation on the consolation prize in those cases, the times when a stronger party threw the weaker one a bone out of pity.

There were many other cases besides those, the ones that landed in the filing system with little or no fanfare. Those resolutions arrived over squabbles so esoteric that Red simply couldn't get her head around them. At around the tenth request to reframe the problem, the two principals in the dispute would recognize that they were on their own, with the added boot to the stone that if they didn't find a way to come to terms, Red would report them as impossible. Only one Gem at the table usually had the ear of a Diamond, and that type of unspoken leverage worked well enough to get the handshake agreement.

And if Red just happened to be in the room at the time of the handshake, even if she stopped contributing in a useful way a long time ago? Hey, a win's a win.

As effective as coasting on her reputation could be, it only worked if the two parties actually knew of that reputation. A pack of humans would see her only as another Rock Person, one whose sleeves poofed out so severely at the shoulders that a few of them might think she had three heads.

Red Beryl herself was the first potential point of failure in a peaceful resolution of the human-Gem standoff at Prime.

* * *

   
The second potential point of failure branched off of the first: Red Beryl had issues with taking Pearls seriously.

Pink's Pearl briefed her on the mission as they walked the trail from the Prime warp pad to the lip of the canyon, covering the key points of concern while the dead soil crunched under their feet. While she was nodding when it felt necessary, Red found the earnestness of her Diamond's servant very amusing. _Look at her,_ she thought. _Poor sweet thing thinks she can be a diplomat._

One of Red's internal chuckles slipped through her lips, filling Pearl with a far-too-familiar chill. "I'm sorry, did I say something funny?"

"Not at all. Just don't worry yourself too hard. Remember, I'm a professional." Red paused to pick at one of the burrs that attached itself to her leggings. "Oh, could you be a dear and help me, please? There were a lot of these on the way to the warp pad, and I'm afraid I missed a few."

Pearl knelt to assist, as was expected. "Well, thank goodness I don't have to worry. It's just that when I'm relaying important information directly from My Diamond, I don't want to think that I misspoke, or that my style wasn't engaging enough. After all, I'm the carrier of mission-critical information. And it's not like you can afford to miss a word."

Her hand clamped down on Red's ankle, prompting the mediator to yelp. "My apologies. That last one was wedged in there."

Just as suddenly, Pearl's head snapped up, meeting Red's distress with a bright smile tinged with frost. "But why _should_ I worry? Because you _did_ hear every word, didn't you? Because you're a professional."

She rose up and opened her palm, presenting the results for inspection, then scattered them to the winds. "There we go. It was only a few, but I like to get the simple things right."

Even if Pearl's tone tended to elude Red, her position in the Pink court did not, and Pearl viewed the sudden onset of anxious silence as an unexpected perk of the assignment. At the same time, how much information  _did_ she ignore? And it's not like even a Diamond's Pearl could override a member of the Court if she stubbornly chose to chart her own course. Her main hope now was that some of her information dripped through the gravel filter of Red's head before they reached the conflict zone.

By the time they reached the standoff, the human mob had expanded yet again, augmented by more people armed with bows and spears. The back line was mostly onlookers, although they were gathering rocks from the woodlands, in case they were needed. Some of them also carried torches made out of long tree limbs. All of them were shouting up a furious din, but so far none had crossed the last patch of grass into the Kindergarten proper.

The quartzes remained where they were, an air of stoic menace surrounding their presence, at least until one Carnelian wrecked the group veneer by inspecting something stuck to her fingers a little too intently. She held it up to the Jasper standing next to her, who pushed it back into her face. A scattering of laughter was quickly squelched when they realized Pink Diamond's representatives had arrived.

Red Beryl curled her lip at the sight that greeted her. "Oh. So it _is_ the savages. You weren't kidding."

Pearl swallowed what would've been a long, loud sigh. "I hope you're not too disappointed. Our Diamond requested you specifically, after all."

"Of course not. I've wanted to test my mettle against some organics for a long time."

 _Please don't do this. Not now._ "Yes, but remember that the order is to reach a peaceful settlement. Everyone goes home happy."

Red broke into a broad grin. "Yeah, yeah. Just watch me work, honey."

Red's jovial elbow to the midsection knocked the wind out of Pearl, who wondered (not for the first time) how a form that lacked a proper skeleton could have such bony joints. Still, the procedure was about to begin, so Pearl stiffened her back and stepped forward to assume her ceremonial role, raising a hand for silence. "Make way for Her Rationality Red Beryl, the esteemed arbitrator from the court of Her Majestic Benevolence, Pink Diamond!"

The Gems in attendance burst into raucous applause and whistles as Red strode forward, a reception she acknowledged with deep bows. The members of the human contingent, in contrast, glanced at each other uneasily.

Unnoticed by the rest, a few sets of eyes from the rear locked with Pearl's. Their expressions spoke together: _That's not who we think it is, is it?_   Nervously, Pearl raised a finger to her lips, and they reluctantly returned their attention to Red Beryl.

Noticing that she got nothing from the human side, Red shrugged and continued. "Disputants, please state your positions."

The Iris Agate in charge of the quartzes, her form a spectrum of stripes at the service of discipline, strode the length of the line, smacking the back of every head under her command on her approach. "Good day, Your Rationality! What a delight to be in your gorgeous presence again!"

"Oh, stop it, you flatterer. It's always Red to you." They met several decades ago, bonding over hapless underlings and a mutual love of theatricality. With the warm feeling that a career schmoozer and bootlicker gets from being remembered, Iris relaxed and wrapped a familiar arm around the mediator.

"You haven't come our way in ages, Red! I heard they found a new place for you. Are you getting along well at the Lunar Sea Spire?"

Red rolled her eyes and giggled. "It's a _spire_ , love. There's water, stairs, breathtaking architecture, and so much heavy thinking that your head explodes. And they talk about it constantly! It's useful, I suppose, but sometimes you want to get away from all that and get your hands dirty." An eavesdropping Amethyst giving her a curious side-eye brought Red back to the task at hand. "Anyway, we'll catch up later. We've still got a thing going on. State your position."

"Well, Red, you already know where we're going with this. The creature in question--a deer, I think it was--died inside the Kindergarten boundary. So blah blah blah, Diamond rules."

"Thank you. Very concise. And who speaks the case for the humans?"

After an uncomfortable stillness, a human male stepped forward, his adornments indicating a higher rank in the group. With difficulty, he lowered himself to one knee. "Red Beryl, I am chief of the Black Bear Clan. We implore you to consider our situation. While this may be a breach of a mutual understanding our forefathers made with your leaders, your people have winnowed down our traditional hunting grounds over the generations, and our survival is no longer guaranteed. What we ask of you today is for enough food to stay alive a little longer. We know where the power balance lies, and our request today is for a small act of mercy."

The chief of the humans dropped his head to a polite ovation from both sides, a display of respect that seemed to embarrass him as two assistants helped him to his feet. Although Red was taken aback by the "your people" bit, since it indicated the natives didn't realize Gems weren't actually people, she was impressed by how on point the human was with his groveling. It was time for her first-round consideration.

Red paced between the two lines, gathering her strength while Pearl glanced around the conflict apprehensively. On one heel pivot, Red smiled and winked at her, giving Pearl back a sense of certainty. That feeling lasted until the esteemed negotiator planted her hands on her hips and began talking again.

"Organic matter which expires in production areas becomes the property of the Great Diamond Authority, and will be disposed of by representatives of the colony's Supreme Ruler, Her Charity Pink Diamond." Her finishing flourish, signifying tossing a handful of nothing into the air, was met by more cheering and whoops from the security line and stony silence from the humans.

After basking in the adoration of the Gem contingent, Red grudgingly shifted back to the decidedly unimpressed human delegation. "I take it you lot aren't pleased with that?"

The fiercest hunters stood behind the chief of the Black Bear Clan, tensed and ready to act on his instruction, but he waved them off. "We have a few issues, yes."

* * *

   
The ten minutes that followed involved Red Beryl getting a crash course in the care and feeding of the human race. The humans gave her the beat-the-clock version since they knew too well that Dead Place or no, whatever was inside the dead animal was reacting with its meat the longer it stayed under the sun. They illustrated their points with simple diagrams drawn in the dirt, and Red appeared impressed that they were able to mount an intellectual defense of their lifestyle at all. Whether she was convinced by it was another matter, due to her natural inclination to take the given information and figure out how it proved that she was right.

Pearl, who as a witness to the stocking of Pink Diamond's human zoo (and the at times unsettling education of the zookeepers) was one of the few Gems present with some knowledge of the issues at play, approached to interject a few times, only to be waved off by Red without a glance. Eventually, she resigned herself to observe the rest of the conference from the sidelines.

"Well, if it's protein you need, I understand some of the other animals forage for grubs. It might not be as exciting as stalking a..." She looked over her shoulder at the dead creature, seemingly for the first time. "I'm sorry, what did you say this was again, Iris? Chipmunk? Rutebega?"

" _It's a deer!_ " Gems and humans replied in unison before the Agate could open her mouth.

Mortified, Iris ground her teeth. "We're all become familiar with the designation of the deceased organic. There's been a lot of back-and-forth across the lines today."

"Um, yes, thank you. I mean, there's a certain romance to stalking the wily beast, but if you _must_ eat, maybe you can broaden your options. Have you tried beetles?"

"Yes. Several times." The answer came from the back of the pack. "It takes too many to make a mouthful."

Patiently but firmly, the chief interjected again. "Red Beryl, we don't hunt game for mere enjoyment. We do it for survival, and we don't only use the meat. Entrails, pelt, bones...even the antlers have their purpose. Nothing of the deer goes to waste. You can't do that with beetles!"

As enlightening as this was, Red was quietly exasperated by the pushback from these ingrates. Here she was, giving them the benefits of her travels ( _freely!_ ), and they turn up their noses at her suggestions. But she had one more brilliant idea to drop on them.

"Well, if you need more than a mouthful, cannibalism is always an option."

The thought stoked an outcry of revulsion from the humans, and even her boosters among the quartzes sensed she was going in a bad direction, but Red couldn't be discouraged. "Hear me out before you judge! Some of our scouts have seen rodents do it, insects do it, even those things with the foamy mouths and the long tails. And not only does it give you a full belly, but it thins out the surplus population!"

She turned back to Pearl with a smile of satisfaction only to find a face frozen in horror. "What?" she mouthed.

The humans pushed towards Red, one of the women jabbing an accusatory finger into the shoulder of the Gem. "That's disgusting! Are you suggesting we eat each other? Maybe even eat our children?"

Red Onyx had been idly watching the mess she'd set into motion from her observation tower when she noticed that one of the hunters next to the argumentative woman was pointing his spear in an offensive manner at Red. Onyx chose to throw a pre-emptive spear of her own, not anticipating Red Beryl wheeling on the hostile human and stepping into her shot.

"Now when did I say 'children'? Eat the old ones for all I care! They might be a little bit stringier, but you'll do fine either way."

At first, Red thought the observers' shocked silence was the awestruck tribute to her superior reasoning, but she then glanced down and saw Point Of Failure #3 sticking through her abdomen. She sighed disgustedly. _Great. This again._

"Well, it's been fun, everybody. But it looks like my shift's up." She glared at Onyx, who appeared embarrassed at blowing it so spectacularly. "Sorry, Pearl. Tell our Diamond I tried." Pearl responded by averting her eyes from what she dreaded was about to happen. Dramatic to the bitter end, Red Beryl poofed in a massive cloud of pink smoke.

And from there, all Hell broke loose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rating has been upped to T because come on, she's talking _cannibalism_. 
> 
> This chapter took a lot longer than I expected because I wanted this particular screaming failure to be a roaring success. Fingers crossed over how much of the extra effort was worth it. See you on the other side of Heart of the Crystal Gems.
> 
>  
> 
> _(v2. Last pre-NWOFA post.)_


End file.
